I Never Wanted to be a Pastor

The Jahr Family

I never wanted to be a pastor. That was my dad’s job. I had no hard feelings about my dad being a pastor―I have a deep respect for him and his ministry calling―I just always felt it was my dad’s path and, therefore, not mine to take. I wanted my own journey.

The thing is, I loved ministry. I loved listening to people and speaking into their lives. I loved seeing the Bible brought to life in people. I loved teaching. I loved Jesus and his promise to heal, reconcile, and transform. But I didn’t want to be a pastor. 

Then one summer night, I was extremely restless. I couldn’t sleep and I didn’t know why. In the wee hours of the morning, I gave up trying to fall asleep and went downstairs to pray. I collapsed on the couch surrounded by the detritus of last evening’s playtime with the kids. After reading my Bible and spending time in prayer, I opened my laptop and hopped on YouTube, looking to pass the time until morning properly began. Perhaps God mysteriously worked through the algorithm, because a random click on a video upended my life trajectory. 

Onscreen, a young man was preaching from his bedroom desk, surrounded by mom décor. His message was constantly interrupted by offscreen giggles and shrieks as his toddlers tore through the hallways offscreen. He just smiled and kept talking. This man’s message was filled with hope. For years I had heard about the decline of the Church in the West―people walking away, never to return―but this guy didn’t speak about decline. He spoke about overflow, about people discovering God’s love for them, about churches filled with people seeking the Savior. And then he spoke about God raising people up to deliver the Word. He challenged Christians to listen, because God was calling them.

I had heard my share of revival sermons before. There was nothing extraordinary about the presentation or delivery of this man’s message. Just a guy with a microphone in his room trying to get a video out before lunchtime. Yet I heard his challenge and felt God speak into the depths of my soul, “Armin, this is for you.” And I knew―I just knew―God was calling me to be a pastor.

People say you’re supposed to look for signs of confirmation. I didn’t have to look far. Later, I sat down with my wife feeling anxious about the news. “Honey, God’s calling me to be a pastor.” Christa responded with a whoop. “It’s about time!” she laughed. What followed was a year of planning and preparation for a big life change. I wrapped up my teaching career at Hillcrest Academy, Christa and I met with several pastors and their spouses, and I applied for seminary. In the midst of this, I received an invitation to work and learn alongside the team at Oak Hill Church in Bloomington, Minnesota. So, we put our little Fergus Falls house on the market, and just to make everything more exciting, our third child arrived a few months before we moved!

We started this journey in September of 2023. I’m currently in my 2nd year as youth director at Oak Hill and my 4th semester of seminary. Christa leads a Bible study for high school girls and ministers to our children day in and day out. Our children consider the church their “home” and love all the attention they receive at youth group and Sunday school. We are so blessed by this community! 

Being a seminary student is different than I initially thought. My external perspective of seminary―shaped by friends and alumni from previous generations―had me imagining I’d be lugging stacks of books around campus, staying up late in the library, getting into caffeinated theological brawls in the lounge, and holding heady class discussions with bearded peers in plaid.

However, my actual seminary experience is shaped much more by ministry context. I log into class from my church office in between ministry preparations. I get texts from youth group parents during lectures. My daughter pretends to write Greek notes off-camera as Dr. Berge expounds on the grammar of Galatians. Seminary is very much integrated into my work week, going hand-in-hand with the ministry happening at Oak Hill. Lessons learned in the classroom have direct impact on Sunday school lessons, youth group presentations, sermons, discussions with my pastor, and conversations with my church community. Many of my classmates are having the same experience as they serve their local church. We’re being equipped “on the job.” I’m thankful for the hands-on training I’m able to receive as a seminary distance student. 

In the midst of these experiences, I’ve also had moments in the valley of doubt. “What’s this all for?” I wondered during a particularly hard time last fall. I was snatched out of the valley by, oddly, a funeral home tour. Our Pastoral Theology class was learning how to work alongside funeral homes for end-of-life ministry. Part of the tour took us into the morgue and embalming table. The funeral director told us, “The most important thing in the embalming process is not the face, but the hands. You see, the hands give the grieving something to hold.” That line struck me. It’s rattled in my head ever since. We are surrounded by people who are numb from grief; not only from loss of loved ones, but the loss of dreams, freedom, of hope and joy. It is our privilege to give them something to hold. Not in lifeless tradition or cold religion, but in the strong, sure grip of Jesus Christ, who pulls us from drowning waters into new life. 

Jesus says to us today, “Why are you troubled? …Look at my hands and my feet… It is I myself!” (Luke 24:38-39) What hope, what comfort, we find in the presence of our resurrected Lord, whose hands still bear nail marks to remind us of the extent of his love. Those hands hold us and guide us through the whole of life and beyond.

I want to be a pastor. I want to embody the hands of Christ to the people around me. I’m eager to continue growing into the community at Oak Hill Church, serving and developing pastoral skills. Most of all, I’m excited to build gospel-centered relationships and community. This season is full of training and gaining knowledge―which is important―but in the end it’s all about being the hands of Christ to others. I look forward to using my former role as an educator and my current seminary training to serve and disciple others wherever God leads. 

Armin Jahr III is a student at Lutheran Brethren Seminary while serving as Youth Ministry Director at Oak Hill Church in Bloomington, Minnesota.